


A Small Step Forward

by MegTheFireGoddess



Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 20:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21203354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegTheFireGoddess/pseuds/MegTheFireGoddess
Summary: An expansion/rewrite of Chapter 15 & 16 of Memories where Yuki tells Zero she is pregnant.





	A Small Step Forward

**Author's Note:**

> Further expanded on 10/28/19, taking it into a Mature rating.

Zero arrives on the wings of the dawn, smelling of smoke and foreign blood.

I do not offer him a greeting, letting him think I'm asleep and watching as he engages in his morning ritual. Standing at the far side of the bed, his movements are mechanical as he removes his pistol from its holster. The Bloody Rose, one of the few guns capable of killing vampires, flashes in the first rays of sunlight before finding its rest on the bedside table. Then he sheds his jacket, shirt, holster, and trousers before carefully lifting the duvet and sliding into bed beside me.

For a long time, he stares up at the canopy as thoughts flit past his features. Facts, theories, memories, I can see them carve their stories into the jagged line of his jaw and paint shadows across his steely grey eyes. 

"Bad night?" I ask him, already knowing the answer but offering a shoulder to lean on.

He peers at me sideways, "I thought you were asleep."

"Why would you think that?" I tease him, giving him a mischevious smile, "It's barely sunrise."

He shrugs, burying his hand in his shaggy silver hair in a show of nonchalance meant to hide his own exhaustion, "It's been like that for over two months, Yuki. By the time I get here, you're already asleep." Then he passes me a small smirk, "Not that I mind."

"Well, I'm awake now. So why don't you tell me why you look so worried?"

Letting out a long sigh, he finally confesses, "The terrorists are stepping up their attacks. We found a bomb in the Westside church and two more at the shopping center. Whoever is behind this, they are good at covering their tracks. They keep attacking public places where there are so many mingling scents it's difficult to determine if the culprits are vampires, hunters, humans or all three."

"Yeah, Ruka and Akatsuki said they were having the same problem. Whenever they start getting close to discovering who might be funding the terrorists, the trail gets muddled. I know everyone is trying their best, but I really hope we find whoever is behind this soon. Otherwise, there's no telling what might happen." Sitting up, I gather my knees to my chest, my voice becoming a whisper, "There are already people saying that it is a group of fanatics, humans and vampires who believe they are following His will. Idiots. He wouldn't want this."

Long fingers wrap around my arm, closing the distance that always seems to settle between us whenever I mention the man I can no longer name. The one who is encased in a coffin of ice, leaving half my heart trapped in the past.

Zero gently drags me back to the present, pulling me down until I am lying beside him once more. My ghosts begin to fade and I scoot closer to him, forming my body to his side and resting my head on his chest. With the proximity, my senses are consumed by the call of his blood. His heart beats in time with my own and I feel the familiar thirst rise. I want to push it away but I feel parched. As if I haven't fed in years rather than hours.

Without a word, Zero tilts his head back and silently offers me that which I crave. Giving in, I roll over until I am straddling him and bury my fangs in his neck. His blood floods into my mouth, filling me, but it doesn't satisfy me. I want more. I want it all.

This is not normal. Zero's blood is the only thing that has quenched my thirst since the-one-I-cannot-name gave his life to protect the world. It is only through pure strength of will that I manage to pull away.

Yet the intimacy of the moment is not lessened by my lack of repletion. Zero's gaze goes hazy with lust and, moving faster than a cobra, he rolls me onto my back so that I am pinned beneath him. With feather-light kisses, he blazes a trail from the collar of my muslin nightgown to my lips. His tongue sweeps through my mouth, taking in our mingling flavors with a groan of pure pleasure. 

Then he hesitates, pulling back just far enough to search my features for the answer to some unspoken question, but I could care less. I let my thigh brush against his hardness and he gasps, all his thoughts visibly fleeing as he rips away my underwear with one fluid movement. Ducking between my thighs, his lips brand me as he presses them to the vein there. His fangs slide teasingly against my flesh but he goes no further. Instead, his tongue skim my folds. Sparks shimmy across my nerve endings until I am lost in the throes of electrifying sensation.

Only when he has reduced me to a writhing mass does he crawl back up my body to indulge himself, entering me with the same effortless fluidity with which he did everything. United, we move together in a dance we have performed a dozen times before until we both shatter.

Undone, he falls onto the bed beside me but before he drifts off into oblivion, he gathers me to his chest. Pressing a tender kiss to my throat, he breathes familiar words into the stagnant air. "I love you."

I smile into my pillow but the expression is tinged with sadness, "I love you too."

@` )---,--’-----

Zero is gone when I wake up.

It is practically routine now. I fall asleep in his arms and awake the next evening alone. That is how it has been between us for decades. Day after day, we drift in and out of each other's lives, always accepting the status quo and never taking that next step into the future. As vampires, we are ageless, and while the world keeps spinning around us we remain trapped in the past.

Rolling away from the dusky rays that filtered through the drapes, I bury myself beneath the duvet and drift back in time to those happier days when we were both pretending to be human. When I would stroke his hair and tell him everything was alright and it hadn't been a lie.

As I luxuriate in nostalgia, my thoughts slowly drift to the present. To the happiness we have now and how different it is and yet the same. Now his blood calls to me and I crave him, heart and soul. Until our innocence is stripped away even as the easy affection remains intact.

Suddenly I can feel his hands on my flesh, taste him on my tongue, and it is so vivid it is like his phantom is still there. I gasp at the sensation, gripping my throat as the desire for blood overwhelms me.

Tossing back the bed linens, I shoot to my feet and stumble toward the vanity where I keep my blood tablets. My hands tremble as I open the box, scattering the tiny white pills across the floor. Falling to my knees, I scoop up an entire handful and swallow them in a gulp. They do little to tame my hunger but it is enough to clear my head, giving rise to a single thought.

I have known this bloodlust before.

Unconsciously, my hand drifts down to my abdomen and I search for the truth with all my heightened senses. It is there, a tiny heartbeat that flutters like butterfly wings. So fragile but filled with life.

The hands of the clock seem to stand still as I adjust to this new reality and my thoughts become a cascade of questions I don’t know how to answer. I drown in them, lost in a sea of confused tears.

Then a knock on the door sends the hour ticking forward.

“Mistress? Master Kain Akatsuki has requested to speak with you.”

I scrub at my eyes with the sleeve of my nightdress and force my voice into a semblance of normalcy, “Alright. Thank you.”

Steady steps drift away and, with a bit of effort, I manage to lock away my feelings and greet the night. In times like these, I have no other choice.

@` )---,--’-----

“They’re targeting children?” I breathe, outraged and disgusted.

“Yes, our people found bombs hidden within the sewers beneath two elementary schools and a daycare.”

Ruka scoffs, her pretentiousness standing in for the anger she feels, “To stoop to such levels! These criminals really have gone too far. And to say they serve a ‘vampire king’! How ridiculous!”

“Agreed. Naming themselves in such a manner, one has to wonder what their real motives are." Akatsuki’s stoic manner breaks for just a heartbeat as he folds his arms across his chest, "I would like to go down there investigate. Perhaps they left behind a trail to follow."  
  
My fists clench at my sides and I must look rather frightening as both Ruka and Akatsuki’s eyes widen. There is nothing for it though. Those bastards were targeting children and they would not escape my wrath. “No.”

“What?” If Akatsuki could stammer, I’m sure he would have at that moment but he was always unnervingly self-assured.

“I said no. I will go to the sewers and find these criminals myself.” My voice vibrates as my pureblood powers rise, dancing merrily with my fury.

Admirably, Akatsuki stands strong in the face of my unleashed rage, “Forgive me, but I won’t allow you to go down there alone.” Then his nervousness shows in the way he purposely loosens his tie and he grumbles, “You look like you’re about to go on a rampage and that is the last thing we need.”

“Don’t be silly,” Ruka says, the voice of reason in a room where all other logic has fled, “Yuki can handle herself. Besides, it isn’t like you can stop her.”

“Exactly,” I reply with a decisive nod and Akatsuki lets out an exasperated sigh of defeat.

The decision made, Ruka gets up from her seat and starts toward the exit, “Good, then in the meantime, we should go see if we can get some more information about who these people are. They are growing bolder which means they will slip up eventually. If someone isn't there to catch it, we'll all be doomed.”

She doesn’t wait for Akatsuki to follow, leaving he and I standing there wondering exactly what had just happened. Then Akatsuki closes his eyes and lets his arms fall to his sides, “She’s really worried. Not that I can blame her. With everything going on, it’s a miracle that the humans haven’t started rioting.”

I sigh, the anger fading just enough to make me feel more than a little foolish about my reaction. My thoughts are in shambles, leaving me jumping from one emotion to the next like a frog. "We’re all worried but, well, at least she’s thinking clearly.”

“Is something the matter?”

I shake my head but I cannot look at him, “Nothing that can’t be dealt with later. For now, I just need to focus on what's in front of me. To take all this useless energy and funnel it into something useful. I will find these terrible people and bring them to justice!”

Akatsuki scoffs at my little self-indulgent pep-talk, “Alright, just be careful. Don’t let your guard down.”

“I won’t,” I promise easily and think of all the reasons to heed his advice. Especially one in particular. Still, that is exactly why I must put an end to these terrorists. For the children of the future.

@` )---,--’------

Walking through the tunnels, my senses are on high alert but unnaturally so. I can smell the story behind every piece of garbage, hear the heartbeat of every rat, feel every shift in the air. It's distracting!

Looking to my feet, I clench my fists and silently argue with myself. There are likely extremely dangerous people down here. If I can’t get my senses under control, I’ll only end up running headlong into danger.

Instead, I end up crashing into the plains of a familiar chest. Zero catches me by the shoulders, steadying me at the same moment he glares down at me, “What are you doing down here, Yuki?”

I scramble backward, waving my hands in front of my face in a ridiculous show of innocence that works to have the opposite effect. “Nothing!”

“Yeah, right,” he deadpans, “You’re down here looking for whoever could be setting the bombs.”

My first instinct is to deny it but he knows me better than that. My shoulders slump as I confess, “Yes, but only because Kian said they were targeting children! Surely you didn’t think I’d just stand back and do nothing after hearing that!”

“I guess not,” he admits before turning away and moving toward the main sewer. At the threshold, he slows long enough to wave me forward, “Come on. We’ll look together.”

We wander the tunnels in silence for a long time but, while he is dedicated to the task at hand, my thoughts spin around me like a cyclone. I was not expecting to see him. There is a lot to say, questions to be asked and confessions to be made, but I cannot voice them as thirst closes around my throat. My gaze drifts to the pulsing veins in his neck and I subconsciously lick my lips.

I quickly shake away the desire. It's not the time or place! Still, as I force my bloodlust down, another thought forms in its place. If I drank his blood now, would he know?

“Yuki! Don’t move!” his panicked voice shocks me out of my speculation and my gaze focuses on him. He is standing completely still, every muscle tense and his arms held out in an instinctual need for balance.

“Zero? What’s wrong?” I ask as my powers sharpen to a blade, prepared to fight with everything that I am.

“Look at your feet. Have you stepped on anything?” he asks, his voice pitched with concern.

Confused I look around, “Other than garbage?”

Then I notice the piece of metal beneath his right shoe. It glistens in the dank darkness, so out-of-place as to be noteworthy. Slowly, my mind puts together the pieces and Zero confirms the conclusion, “I’ve stepped on a pressure switch and, judging by the smell, it is connected to a large amount of C4 down that tunnel. If I move, it will go off and the preschool above us will be destroyed.”

A ticking noise starts echoing down the tunnel and Zero’s head falls back, “Damnit. A timer.”

It won’t matter if he stays still, the bomb will go off either way.

Without putting much thought into my actions, I follow the scent of chemicals down the tunnel. Now that it has been pointed out to me, I can't imagine how I managed not to smell it before. It is like acid in my nostrils.

“Yuki!”

“Don’t move! Not until I tell you to.”

I find the crates of explosives fairly easily as they are close enough to Zero that I can still hear him cursing me under his breath. With a deep inhale, I gather my power and shout, “Now!”

A click is followed by sudden heat and I capture it, forcing the fire and kinetic energy to recede. The heat is nearly unbearable, searing me up to the elbows, but I keep pushing it down, strangling it with my power. Then I feel Zero behind me, the vines of his Bloody Rose slowly twinning around my arms to give me strength. His hands follow the thorny tendrils, his long fingers wrapping around my forearms.

“Do you always have to be so reckless!” he growls in my ear, his breath cool.

“What about you? Why were YOU down here by yourself, huh?”

In my moment of distraction, the blast fights against my hold so I renew my concentration, ignoring Zero's grumbled reply. With just a little more pressure and I snuff the explosion out like a candle. “There!” My muscles turn to liquid as I half-collapse backward. I expect to fall against Zero’s body. Instead, I find only air.

Spinning around, I search the area but I am alone. Then a glint catches my gaze and I lean down to retrieve Zero's Blood Rose from amidst the shattered remains of the crates.

“Zero,” I whisper as panic rises in my chest. He would never leave his weapon behind. After all, it was practically an extension of his arm. “ZERO!”

I reach out with my all my senses, desperate to find that heartbeat that I know as well as my own. There is only silence. As if he has simply vanished.

The worst scenarios filter through my mind and my skin goes cold. Yet a small piece of my heart whispers that he is alive. I don’t know how I know but I do and I let that knowledge be my anchor.

Tucking Zero’s weapon into the leather straps of my thigh holster, right next to my Aremis Rod, I gather my power once more and whisper a promise against the emptiness. “Wherever you are, Zero. I’m coming to get you. So you'd better still be in one piece when I find you.”

My physical form dissipates, becoming a swarm of lavender butterflies that carry everything I am into the night. It is difficult to know how long I drift across the city, searching for any sign of him. It feels like an eternity passing by with every beat of my heart.

Phantom pain stabs at my abdomen, like a blade cutting across my flesh but duller. Not my pain, Zero’s. I follow the sensation to the edge of the urban landscape and to a concrete building half-buried in the ground. I barely have the awareness to send a message to Akatsuki but one of my butterflies float away to deliver it, telling him in no uncertain terms that I am about to unleash hell on the one who dared to take Zero from me.

Formless, I phase through the walls and find Zero in some sort of strange laboratory, strapped down to a cold steel table as scalpel-wielding machines whir around him. Against one wall are metal and glass tubs that hold the deformed bodies of other victims, each of their twisted expression promising a horrible fate for the man I love. The smell of his blood permeates the air but instead of hunger, all I feel is icy fury. Why is he just laying there? Why isn’t he fighting back? The answers come on the edge of a whimper. A small child is trapped in a cage as a vicious man conducts his symphony of torture. The man is a vampire, his pointed ears and elderly appearance belonging to the oldest of us. Whoever he is, he will pay dearly for this.

Passing through the glass that separates him and Zero, I reform into my normal shape behind the man. At my thigh, my Artemis Rod begs to be unleashed and I grant its wish, barely managing to stop the scythe centimeters from the man’s throat. He freezes as the electrifying presence of my hunter’s weapon dances threateningly over his skin.

“What! How did you get in here!” he exclaims as his hands raise from the control panel in a show of surrender.

I do not answer him but speak to Zero in a low voice, “The game is over.”

Ripping his arms out of the restraints, rage overtakes him as he rips the table from its bolts and throws it through the glass, missing the man and I by a short distance. For a moment, he stands there panting in fury before visibly burying it beneath cold stoicism.

Tearing the table away, he nimbly leaps through the resulting hole and takes in the scene. Determining that I have everything under control, he quickly frees the child from the cage. She sobs and clings to him as he carries her away, leaving me alone.

With Zero and the child gone, there is nothing holding me back any longer. I let my power wrap around the vicious man, tossing him to the ground. His mouth flaps like a dying fish but I hear none of his pleas for mercy. There is a roaring in my ears, deafening me to all sound but the beat of my own heart. I hover over him, my scythe poised to administer justice.

Then a crack opens in the floor. The man smiles and waves at me as he falls into the darkness. I make to go after him but something grabs me from behind. I struggle against the confines, a beast lashing out blindly. It takes me a moment to recognize the embrace, the arms that so often held me as I drifted off to sleep. Zero.

My heart is still racing, leaving me lost as Zero continues to hold me fast. Overtaken by the forced stillness, I find myself twirling around to hide my face in his chest. He smells amazing, his blood calling to every fiber of my being. 

“Take a breath," he consoles me, "He’s gone for now but we’ll find him.”

When I fail to react, he half-asks, half-whispers, “Yuki?” his concern misplaced considering everything that had just happened to him.

“You idiot,” I murmur into his bare chest, his wounds already healed to leave behind nothing but unblemished ivory skin. He is whole, with me, but things could have ended very differently. I bunch my fingers in his unbuttoned shirt, wanting to pull him closer but unable to do so when anger takes the place of fear. “YOU IDIOT! YOU CAN’T DO THINGS LIKE THIS! HOW WILL YOU PROTECT OUR CHILD IF YOU DIE PROTECTING SOME STRANGER!”

“What?”

He stiffens and realization sets in. What did I just say? Did I really-?

I recoil from his shocked stare and cover my mouth before I can say something else so utterly stupid.

His gaze softens and a teasing smile plays at the corners of his mouth, “Strange time to bring something like that up, don’t you think?”

I laugh nervously, smoothing the back of my hair as an outlet for my embarrassment, “Uh, yeah, haha, I just-” Waving my hands to dispel the entire conversation, I cling to the first thing that pops into my mind. “Oh! I almost forgot!”

Lifting my skirt, I retrieve the Bloody Rose and hold it out to him, “Here! I don’t know how you dropped it. You should be more careful.”

His eyes interrogate me as he takes the weapon with careful movements, tucking it back into his shoulder holster without ending his search for answers.

Wanting nothing more than to escape, I pivot on my heel and make for the exit, babbling endlessly as I go, “Well, come on. We should have a look around. Try to figure out what that man was up to and if he has any connection to the bombings.”

“Yuki, wait,” Zero grabs my wrist, pulling me to a stop.

I peer at him over my shoulder hesitantly but his expression is one of understanding, “You don’t have to worry. I know that what you said earlier was just because you were upset.”

Turning, I gently pull my wrist away but I keep my gaze on the floor as I speak, afraid to see his reaction, “We should talk about it, because it's a special thing, you know? I think we’ve- I’VE been avoiding it for too long.”

His eyes fall closed and his hands move to encase mine, holding them tenderly as a small smile forms on his lips, “Alright. Later, we’ll talk.”

“O-okay.”

A rumble shakes the ground beneath us and everything is forgotten as an explosion rocks the walls. Zero gathers me close, shielding me from the shrapnel as the western wall bursts into rubble.

Eventually, the world stills and we both look toward the remains of the lab. Whatever evidence might have been left is now nothing but gravel.

@` )---,--’-----

Back at the mansion, I explain to the police chief, in detail and in no uncertain terms, that whoever was behind the bombings will face justice. The vampire council is now involved whether he likes it or not. I’m surprised takes it so well, maintaining a rather jovial demeanor as he irons out minute details such as information sharing and such.

I hope it ends soon as I have other things on my mind. Like a certain hunter turned vampire who is running late from his debriefing with the Association.

As if called by my thoughts, he enters my office, “Sorry I’m late.”

“We were just finishing up,” the chief declares happily, "Unless you had something else you'd like to say?"

“No. I’ll see you out,” says Zero, waving the chief toward the exit. The police chief smiles and bows his farewell before following Zero out.

In their wake, Akatsuki steps forward and crosses his arms, “I should probably get going too, before Ruka starts to worry. I left in kind of a hurry.”

I catch his arm and offer him a smile, “Thank you, for taking care of that little girl.”

Grunting his acceptance, he heads for the door and I rise to follow, not out of politeness, but because I want to find Zero.

He is sitting on the porch step, his head tilted back to gaze up at the stars.

“Do you have to go back to work tonight?” I ask as I settle beside him.

He leans forward, resting his forearm on his updrawn knee, “Yeah.”

Now that all the distractions are gone, my awkwardness returns in full force and I find myself saying the first thing that comes to mind, “You know, it was really brave of you to help that little girl. Not that I would expect any less from you, you reckless idiot. You know, if you hadn’t dropped your Bloody Rose, you probably could have gotten out of it by-”

He flicks me right between the eyes and I press my hand to my forehead more out of shock than pain but I still exclaim, “OW!”

When I recover, it is to find him glaring at me, “You’re an idiot too. What were you thinking, trying to take care of that bomb by yourself?”

“I was thinking about saving your stupid face!”

I want him to laugh, to tease me, but he looks off into the distance with a wistful expression, “I knew you would. When I stepped on the trigger, when I was trapped, I kept thinking ‘I shouldn’t worry because Yuki’s probably worried enough for the both of us’. We’ve been leading such perilous lives, that I didn’t even feel the danger. Then you said what you said, and I couldn’t help but think of all the ways it could have gone wrong." Glancing at me sideways, he silently admonishes me but it tempered by the deep sadness he rarely displays, "You're right, we should have talked about this a long time ago. Maybe then we wouldn't have acted so recklessly."

Gathering my legs to my chest, I try to find the strength to ask the question that holds so much meaning that I want to hide from it, burying my face in my knees, “Are you mad?”

“No,” he murmurs, “I’m glad to have one more thing to live for.”

“You’re happy?” I ask, peering at him from beneath my bangs.

His eyes close and a soft smile drifts across his features, revealing the joy he might never show otherwise, “I’m happy.”

Unfolding to lean back onto my hands, I stare off into the distance. I expect to see a familiar ghost standing on the horizon but there is only the night. Parts of me that I thought had frozen long ago begin to thaw and I let my own smile show. “Me too.”

Almost absently, his hand comes to rest over mine and a long moment passes in comfortable silence until I feel Zero’s gaze. Turning toward him, I become caught in his grey eyes. They twinkle with the light of the stars above us. It is such a bright expression that I feel as buoyant as a butterfly on a breeze. 

The distance between us disappears and he lifts his hand to cup my face, his thumb sliding across my cheekbone tenderly. We kiss in a way we never have before, the trembling but confident kiss of an uncertain future filled with infinite possibilities.

A future worth living for.


End file.
